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(This article was taken from somewhere else) 

I spent the day with a group of men in our house church learning what it takes to be a man of God when it comes to loving and respecting women. In our day an age most men are not men, they are boys. Most guys still want to marry their mom, have a women serve and take care of them, are not willing to take initiative or commit in a relationship, most men are still living in fear, not pursuing their callings by settling for “safe” because its easy. This is sad, upsetting and the standard must change.

 

Women don’t want to marry boys, they want to marry men. Women don’t want boys they have to put up with, clean up after and take care of, they want to be led, pursued and taken on an exciting life adventure. If you go to most of the churches in the Western world today, you will find that there are very few spiritual men, instead there are many spiritual women. It’s disappointing, but I hear it from women of faith all the time, “Pastor Jaeson, where are the godly men?”

 

Today, a good brother and leader in our GBS community Daniel Ra explained what God showed him to be the “5 Pillars of Manhood” in how men must love, respect and serve women. It was enlightening and reinforcing from what I have been teaching men for years when it comes to pursuing a woman of God… of course none of us are perfect, we all have our mistakes, but we must each strive to be better and greater than what we were before yesterday, everyday making an effort to be more like God, to be just like Jesus, to be a man of faith and honor.

 

The 5 Pillars of Manhood…

 

 

1. Lead - A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take initiative. A man of God is leader, not a follower, a servant, not a slave, a hero not a coward. A man of God knows God and therefore knows himself. He should be the leader spiritually first, emotionally, mentally and physically he should set the standard for others to follow.

 

2. Protect - A real man of God will protect his partner. That means he is willing to lay down his very own life, needs and wants for the protection of the one he loves. Every decision he makes when it comes to a relationship has her protection in mind. A woman needs to feel secure, that she is protected and safe with her man. She doesn’t need to second guess, wonder if she will be okay, or have her heart and mind played with. A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness. This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sister's heart.

 

3. Provide – A real man of God will do whatever it takes to provide for his significant other. That means monetarily in finances, in basic needs and as well as what she desires. When a man asks a father for his daughter in marriage, the father will not ask, “How are you doing spiritually first?” No, the first thing the father will ask is, “How will you provide for my daughter?” Because part of being and becoming a man is providing for others, especially your wife and children. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man. God gave us hands and we must put our hands to work, no excuses to be lazy, God made us to rule the earth. Women are not be treated as toys, trophies or a luxury item, women are God’s highest creation, the very image of God.

 

I tell men all the time, “Treat your woman like a queen and you will live like a king.” Don’t be cheap brothers, you need to go all out when it comes to pursuing a woman. This is not a one time thing, but a continual practice. Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care, it is the same with a woman of God, you treat her with the utmost care, honor and respect. Practically, that means you don’t take a woman to Denny’s on a first date, you take her to a place that hurts your wallet, but it’s worth it because she is worthy.

 

Also, men must also provide for women emotionally. When a women asks you, “How are you doing?” She is really asking, “How are you being?” Meaning, what are you feeling, thinking, seeing, being about at the moment. To love a women we must provide at every level – basic needs all the way to providing for them mentally, emotionally and spiritually, if not their hearts will die. Be a man, provide for your women.

 

4. Integrity – A true man of God is a man of his word. Too many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, date girls as if it was a game, and have no respect for women at all. This is disgusting. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation. How many men do we know today who say one thing, but do another? Men who do not keep their word, their promise or follow through with their verbal commitments. In our culture we don’t take words seriously, but in God’s world words are everything. Blessings and curses come out of the same mouth. What comes out of our mouths determines what is truly in our hearts.

 

What a woman wants is a man of integrity. Someone who says what he does and does what he says. Someone they can trust at their word. So as a man you must come through. Words means nothing if they are not backed up with action. Don’t say sorry unless you mean it. Don’t say sorry unless you are able to back up your apologies with doing the right thing. Integrity is doing what is right, whether people are watching or not. Integrity is what you do when no one is looking. Does your woman trust you completely? If not, it is a question of integrity. Don’t tell a women you love her unless your love shows, words carry weight. They either carry false weight or real weight, a woman knows when a man means what he says.

 

So live by your words, live by action, be a living proof of your values, convictions and commitments. Don’t get involved in a relationship unless you are sure this what you want and what God is leading you both to do. I’ve had my share of mistakes in the past, where I got into a relationship without thinking about the consequences, protecting my sisters heart and the fear of the Lord from the get go, I’ve had to make amends and face the results of my sin and foolishness. Trust me brothers, don’t do what I’ve done in the past, don’t play games, don’t feed your fleshly desires, rather seek God, seek the best interest of the one you are pursuing, be honest, forthright from the start about your commitment and your vision for the relationship and stick to your word. Be a man of integrity.

 

If you pursue a women, it should be with the intentions of marriage. If not, stop playing yourself and her. It’s not about finding the right woman, it’s about being the right man. That starts with first knowing God in order to know yourself, then you will know how to love and respect a woman.

 

5) Courage - You are not a man until you climb the great wall of China! This is what it says at the actual Great Wall. Well, I have climbed the Great Wall of China so I guess I must be more of a man than others, just kidding. What is the greater underlying message here? It is a message of courage. It is a message of adventure. A man of God is a man of courage, a man of adventure, a man who is willing to take risks and do the impossible. Men were born to live a life of great adventure. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties. Men were created to live.

 

Sadly, most men are not living. Most men are cowards, fearful and afraid of failure. Imprisoned by their own thinking and what others think about them. Many men are just boys waiting for their mother’s approval, or the approval of others in society. Most men I know are people pleasers, not God pleasers. They are more afraid of how others may reject them or not accept them if they choose to take the road less traveled.

 

All men die, few men truly live.

 

Women don’t want nice guys or good boys, women want men on a mission, men on adventure, men who are dangerous. This is why many women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys live with a sense of risk, danger, mystery and unknown. Men were created to live fearless and to live by faith. But if you walk into a church today what you find are a bunch of boys playing with their toys, working at predictable jobs — not their true callings, and living boring lives. It’s sad, but most guys get their sense of adventure from playing video games or watching TV, what happened to our men?

 

A man of faith will sweep a woman of God off of her feet. He will challenge her to go the distance in God, in their relationship and in life. A man of courage is someone who in the face of fear still chooses to move forward with trust in God, setting out to obey God’s voice at whatever the cost, because that is what matters the most. We need men who have hearts fully alive, hearts full of passion and are on a mission to change the world. There is a high cost to being a man of courage, there is a price to pay if we want to be a real hero, it means we are willing to go against the grain, follow God against all odds and live a life of honor, courage and righteousness.

 

When a woman finds a man of courage, it will encourage her to be all that God has created her to be. As a man, your goal is not how your woman can serve you, but how can you serve your woman? As a man, your goal is not how a woman can serve your destiny, but how can you do all that you possibly can to release the fullness of God’s glory and destiny in her.

 

Men take the lead, protect at all costs, provide in every way, live by your word and live a life of adventure with the Holy Spirit — obey God, not man and you will be the man of God you were created to be — and your woman will love you for it.

 


The colour of our skin

  • Aug. 5th, 2010 at 11:25 AM

Many interesting things happen to me during driving lessons, although I get scolded most of the time for my parking and having lost count of how many times I turned the steering wheel, especially while parking. T_T Anyhow, I can't get something my instructor told me yesterday out of my head.

So it goes like this--

Instructor: (in mandarin) so you're going to England to study? Study what?
Me: Music
Instructor: ohhh, so next time you'll come back and be a music teacher?
Me: hahah maybe, I don't know
Instructor: then why don't you want to be a singer?
Me: (in my mind I was like wth you sure you want to hear my voice on radio?) err no la, I'm not that great a singer
Instructor: hmm... you got boyfriend?
Me: no?
Instructor: good, then no need to have long distance relationship... but don't find some angmoh bf okay?

Okay. So I honestly don't understand the part about angmoh bfs being frowned upon, cos this isn't the first time I've been on the receiving end of such remarks.

My gran and aunt said the same thing and my gran was like oh stay in sg stay in sg don't go overseas.

When the uncles and aunties in church that watched me grow up knew that I was going overseas, the joke was about how I'd find an angmoh and bring him back... maybe even a black british guy (i.e.: British-Indian, since there are so many Indians there T_T) then they'll all burst out in laughter. I know they weren't being racist or anything though, cos we have indians, chinese from china etc in our church and we get along very well.

To be honest, I still can't appreciate the humour behind all the "different-coloured" life partner thingy. I don't see what's wrong with inter-racial pairings. How is it different from inter-social-class pairings? It's just two people from two different backgrounds, and the difference depends on how you view them as individuals. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. And for the record, not all girls that go for angmohs are SPGs and not all angmohs that go for asians are looking for flings.

Another puzzling thing is why we asians look up to those same angmohs when it comes to fashion (oh how they can do nothing wrong, even going to orchard road in flip-flops and bra-less tops and shorts is considered to be a fashion statement), in serious work (business), books (think, if a singaporean had written the Harry Potter series, wouldn't he have been written off, no pun intended, as being presumptious and a banana?), products (made-in-singapore handmade dress or made-in-portugal zara dress when both look similar?), entertainment (would you rather pay $100 to watch Electrico, or Muse live at fort canning?), and oh, the accents! when we imagine a human image of God, doesn't the very angmoh face of the IRA president pop into our minds? the list goes on and on.

So why is it that we only want to admire them and their perfections (oh how they can do no wrong) from a distance, but not want to embrace them (and their imperfections, yes, they CAN do wrong) into our cultures, societies and next, homes?

Well, I feel that the coveting of something gives us more of a kick, thrill, than actually getting it. I'm pretty sure everyone has experienced this feeling before. As students. when we mug mug mug for our exams, we begin fantasizing how we're going to watch all the dramas in the world, shop till we drop, when it's all over. Who doesn't want an iPhone? Who doesn't want that lovely but oh-so-expensive bag?

However, when the exams are over, when we get the iPhone AND the bag, what happens?

That's right, we don't watch any of the dramas, neither do we even step out of the house, let alone shop. We drag our feet in exploring the apps store (what's the rush?), we chuck the bag at a random corner of the room.

Why is that so? I feel that the coveting gives us, or rather, IS our goal. Once we have achieved the free time and the material comforts, we are left goal-less, and as human beings, there is no greater pain than having no aims. Point of interest: that's why when you go to the bookstore, the self-improvement shelves are filled with books about finding one's purpose in life.

Back to the angmoh thingy, I just feel that we asians don't truly understand them and their cultures beyond the gross generalisations that we make of them, just as they do of us (and our slitty eyes...which we can actually see with). EVERYONE has in some point of time started a sentence to prove our point with "You know, in America/Europe/UK, it's not like Singapore, they (blah blah blah on about how superior the westerners are)". Any true blue American could tell you that the different states in USA are different from one another, just as the housing estates of Toa Payoh are different from that of Jurong or Pasir Ris.

I guess we have to all understand that we will always be inherently different and appreciate those differences, rather than brush them off by generalising the entire western part of the globe, before we can look beyond the colour of the two units of a couple and see the genuine reason for their matrimony, which I believe, would be the same as that of between two chinese, two indians, two malays, two americans, two english or two french.

Relief

  • Jun. 14th, 2010 at 3:59 PM

Today, the most unsuspecting of people helped me indirectly in the most unsuspecting of ways; by giving me a phone number.

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Jun. 7th, 2010

  • 10:25 AM


It was quite surprising that on Sunday, my cell group people decided to sing me a birthday song and buy a slice of choc cake for me! It was quite funny though, because

A: I think you should ask gen if she likes choc
B: okay, do you like choc?
Me: yeah, don't most people?
B: There, okay what!
Me: (but I don't like cake)
B: ZZZZZZZZ 

Then I received a super adorable card from Wendy and also a silver pen in a metal case. The case read:

Faith, Hope and Love; and the greatest of these is love.
1 Cor 13:13

After I opened it, I realised the pen had "hope" engraved on it.

*

and omg, I like this:

http://www.absolutecloset.com/shop/product.php?id_product=42

I've always wanted a white or denim-coloured (like not the real jeans material, but look-alikes) vest too (those that cover the back, rather than the halter neck kind), but they seem to be out of fashion and I can hardly find anything like that anywhere. Okay, I did see nice ones at uniqlo, but they cost $50. Sigh ):

Okay I just have no guts to shop online T_T

This is an inside 'joke'

  • May. 13th, 2010 at 12:31 PM

Hello Sam,

STOP STARING THEN.

buahahhahahahahahahah.

Okay I will update soon okay? We signed a contract saying we're not supposed to blog about our work... it's quite strict so I really have nothing to say even though stuff happens and the stuff is usually hilarious! Sigh.

Sorry people, will update soon!

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Apr. 17th, 2010

  • 11:08 AM


Grace just told me something that amused me:

Gauguin died of syphillis
Cause he went to this exotic island where the women weren't used to wearing tops or something
Then he was tempted to become very promiscuous

HAHA. It's just strangely funny.

Anyway I recently realised that singing is quite enjoyable. In fact, because I go home quite late every night, it's perfect opportunity to sing as I walk home. Not too loudly, of course. It just gives me an inexplicably liberating feeling. In fact, I suspect that I have been... overindulgent because I vaguely remember myself accidentally singing a phrase out loud while listening to my ipod on the train. Oh my.

Work's been like a sine curve, as I told a friend in another paper. Being in weekend kind of means I do non-urgent feature stories, which are quite fun. But it also means Mon-Wed are ZZZZZ, Thurs, Fri are !!!!!!!!! and I must be prepared for Sat OT. It's been splendid to meet the people behind the articles and news you read and watch though.

Oh, I passed my BTT and got my PDL... now I have to squeeze out time for driving lessons and the ATT. Ha. Can't wait to be able to drive ^^

Oh oh mon, GYLC had a splendid dinner date. Even though Y was hopelessly late, due to "flooded corridors", we talked, laughed, ate ice-cream etc.

Sigh. What's gonna happen if I go overseas? ):


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Why? Because I'm having a story drought ): I cannot emphasize the importance of having continuous creative juices flowing.



I was super shocked to receive in the mail that I got top in GP. Crazy. But oh well, the thought of taking leave and giving the reason as, "oh I need to get my prize for being top in GP" to sph is.... WOOOO!

Okay, but seriously, on the job, GP skills only get you so far. About 1 cm far.

Overheard in the newsroom:
Editor: I've always wanted to be the copywriter for a porno film. We could start with... Shaving Ryan's Privates.
T_T

Me: (over the phone, reciting my email add to a ITE student, over bad phone connection) my email is ...@ sph... Singapore, Penguin, House.
Perm Staff: (after I hung up) hello, my name is xxxxxxx, you are?
Me: Geneve
Perm Staff: Just now i heard you say that SPH is Singapore Penguin House? It's Singapore Press Holdings lah WAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Me: -blushes- the guy couldn't hear lah!
Perm Staff: HAHAHAHAAH WE'RE ALL PENGUINS (immediately spreads the news around the whole office)
Me: EH don't do that lah!
Perm Staff: PLEASE you're in this line, you've gotta love gossip!
Me: (speechless)

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  • Jan. 17th, 2010 at 10:41 PM

It's painful and hard to feel sad about things, especially when you know things are going to get worse with time.

Yesterday, Mr Ku commented (again) that I'm very impatient with myself and that I should cut myself some slack. It's hard to do that, especially when you see people zipping past you in many senses of that word. The whole 'you are your own enemy' thing is like rubbish. Then when your loved ones start doing stuff that's going to hurt you and everyone else somehow, how do you stop it, when they don't see it's wrong in the first place?

Ahh.

Li Hui this is for your eyes!

  • Jan. 9th, 2010 at 9:33 AM


Dear Students,

We are pleased to inform you that Mr. Ken W.H. Ho will be hosting an information seminar on International Educational Opportunities for High School Students and University Undergraduates in 2010 on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 from 7.00pm – 9.00pm.

Mr. Ho is Adjunct Professor for the University of Nevada Las Vegas (Singapore campus) and Principal Consultant for Educated Choices, the Asia-Pacific office for the Global Young Leaders Conference (GYLC); the National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine (MED); the International Scholar Laureate Programs (ISLP); and the University of Dayton.   He will speak on the following 2010 educational opportunities and offerings on January 20:

Global Young Leaders Conference (www.cylc.org/gylc):<http://www.cylc.org/gylc):>
Students aspiring to a career in diplomacy, international relations, multinational business or international finance will benefit tremendously from their participation in the GYLC in the United States (Washington, D.C. and New York City) or China (Beijing, Shanghai and Hangzhou) between June and August 2010.  Students will learn from diplomats, international business leaders and decision-makers of government agencies (such as the U.S. Department of State) and international organizations like the United Nations, World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.  They will be challenged to discover and discuss global leadership issues with high-achieving students (age 15 to 18 years old) from over 80 countries and formulate strategies and policies as a diplomat to advance the interests of a country at trade dispute, conflict resolution and Global Summit simulations.

Etc.

My name!

  • Dec. 15th, 2009 at 4:19 PM

Today, I will discus the meaning of my name and its pronunciation T_T which ruffles my feathers VERY OFTEN.

Geneve
My name has French (loves!) origins and is a variant of the longer Genevieve, which happens to be my old name till my mum decided that Geneve was more special, easier to spell and write. We've never looked back since after that fateful (lol) day at the lawyer's firm and $100 later.

Geneve means 'the race of women', as Genevieve does, but I've also read somewhere that Geneve means 'pure white waves'. Well, before anyone starts commenting on how I'm not lady-like (oh I recall meixue not believing that I wear skirts -.-) or not pure, I must say I'm a bit of a feminist and I typically shun people that aren't 'simple', if you know what I mean. Of course, not everyone I'm not close to is bu jian dan. -.-

When I was in primary school, I had a best friend whose younger brother would call me 'The Watch' or Geneva interchangeably. Childish, yes, but he's in RI now lol. I mean now I would certainly be glad to have 'the watch with my name inside' for a gift! (Future husband can take note)

Geneva is a name with Swiss origins, but sounds quite French too since French is spoken in Switzerland. Geneva means 'juniper tree', or the name of the lake between the Alps and Jura mountains. For those who take History, Geneva is a place southwest of Switzerland that was a Celtic settlement, a focal point of the Protestant Reformation spearheaded by John Calvin, headquarters of the League of Nations (which kind of didn't work really) and today it's the home of the UN headquarters! Pretty happening place, in my opinion.

ertainly don't know any Genevas, but my friend once told me of a senior called Geneve. (oh lol I just found her on fb, surname ong)

A simple search on fb gives you 179 people results, compared to 'Mary', with 1.6 million, 'Jonathan', with 725 000 and 'Jamie', with 467 000.

Love my name (:

Since Geneve is a French, name, the actual pronunciation, which I know but don't use it since it wouldn't make things easier for people anyway, is something like 'Je-neff'. (http://forvo.com/word/gen%C3%A8ve/)

On usual days, if anyone can get Je-neeeeeeve at first try, I generally will have a great impression of the person (:

Someday if I'm on some scholarship appraisal board, I'll have a fun time axing out people who can't get my name!!!! HAHA. Okay I shouldn't continue for obvious reasons. Actually I think it's basic courtesy to get the names of important people correct. Arnold Schwarzenegger? (:

Okay that's all folks! (: