If eme got dust in her eye, someone must have emptied a vacuum cleaner bag on my face.

I think the people I'll miss so much are the mepers. We've stuck together for 6 years already and even though we take different subjects and have different social circles, somehow our love for music (not only in the academic sense) ligates us together. My other friends still mean a lot to me, but well, we're one special bunch! It's all about US and not ME, when we're together.

We may have had inner conflict (ahem) and unhappiness, but we've complained, ganged up and worked together for so long that all the bad memories don't seem to matter anymore.

The mep teachers mean so much to me too, ms lin, mrs loke, mrs ang, ms tan. (mdm ong didn't teach me). Some helped me through tough periods... and some gave me those periods (LOL). I still miss mrs loke quite a bit and I owe ms lin quite a bit too. 

I still can remember all the classrooms we used, from the big brown cupboards in the old tjr campus and removing shoes and the funny passageway between the 2 rooms. Then we moved to mount sinai, with the staff room, helping to poke orchids, compo lessons, cataloguing, the 2 prac rooms with lizard shit on the pianos, the grand piano, the horrid glaring whiteboard and smelly room haha. Then it was back again, to a spanking new floor, more facilities, but still as warm as ever, considering I helped to furnish the library (ahem) and I think it's the place I spent the most time at this year. All the performances, masterclasses, jokes, ('nudus tonalis', 'mio', the felix chang incident..., MORE cataloguing,...) all there. The only library you can talk, (eat), put your legs up, sleep,... in.

I guess it's goodbye then, chen ying, ben goh, joel, chng, yu ru, eme, pj, jeff, mengdie, jas. It's been great spending 6 years of my life with you guys.

I know I don't like babies or little children, but I really really pray that this one's going to be all right. Don't let your mummy and so many of your family members down, because you haven't even gotten to know them yet. Be strong!

I wonder how my cousin felt when she lost her baby.

1. pesky little boys that keep exploring my bedroom. feel like digging their eyes out. seriously. ask more questions and I'll smack you.
2. reading peoples' blogs that talk about their latest shopping sprees, chocs and sales and food and outings and ponning lessons ARGH
3. two letters/numbers: H-3
4. when your RH and LH need to play semiquavers of different contours. really really drives me up the wall
5. acting smart
6. people above you not being able to understand simple english/take instructions and follow them
7. 'doing work at night'. cos my dad popped in at 10 plus and asked a very odd question.' why do you like to do work at night?'
I mean, seriously...
8. late sms replies. I think my other half will have a very horrible time. maybe I'll end up like a particular someone, whom I remember, has a max half hr limit for a reply for her bf.
9. not getting enough sleep. I'm blogging just to tire myself out before bed. FTW.
10. not getting my messages! stupid ang guan yang.
11. not having study leave. pffft.

The last thing I want to do is let negative thoughts creep into my head again. Very very bad.

Somehow I still can't feel that feeling of 'yes I'll make it somehow for the A levels'. I can't do ionic eqm for nuts, bio gets me and my parents have been nagging at me for having no stand for GP. Crap. The reason for that is a very very personal one that has Freudian beginnings I say. After what happened, I have not been bothering about what people say or think of me at all, so much so that even if someone says something untrue about me in front of me, I don't even think of rebutting that person. I think being apathatic has become a weapon against myself rather than from the outside. I really feel disgusted with myself for being so stupid, unproductive and gutless. Seriously. I...


pffffffffffffffffffft.

CTs are NEARLY over! I need to feed my shopping bug and sleeping bug. It's ironic how when you're not supposed to sleep, you feel sleepy. Then, when you can sleep, you feel so awake! Goodbye (for now) studying till you're pretty sure your myopia zipped up by like 500 degress cos you can't even see the 1st and 2nd repeat signs on the score you're page turning for for a friend's mep prac exam -.- SO -ugh- Miss tan was laughing her head off! ARGH.

TOMORROW:
1. Shostakovitch 3 Fantastic Dances
2. Bach Prelude No. 7 Book 1
3. Schubert Impromptu No. 3
4. Milhaud Scaramouche II and III

Maybe I have a secret obsession with 3 too! Like Satie!

It was a nice time, with good food and good company and great friends and great surprises. Some people would already have commented on things I did with different people on lj and facebook, so yes, go hunt around for photos and etc.

Points of interest (this is called post-asean-withdrawal-symptom :/)
1. lee weiliang reads my blog! -gasps- (oh by some chance, he owes me a treat for cip and another for my birthday!)
2. I had 3 celebrations lol. YLC, ISAC and cg people (+ an auntie), which also meant I got 3 cakes!!! choc, choc+strawberry that looked like the one on yu ru's blog and a FREE tiramisu that was oh so awesome!
3. The most retarded birthday wish goes to taisoon," Happy birthday, you're 18, go get some alcohol!'     eh. T_T
4. The most interesting wish goes to Valentia, who texted me at nearly going to 12mn of 6/6, going phew I made it in time! Nonetheless, very sweet of her.
5. The most forgetful people would be my cg-mates, cos they all confessed to forgetting to wish me on the lines of:
    'I remembered all the way till thurs night, but somehow I forgot at 12 mn...'     OR
    'I was talking on the phone till 1 and accidentally missed the time, then I was like... HECK.'    (Grace)
6. I got to throw my weight around for a bit, order Tommy about on my birthday LOL
7. On this day- World Environment Day
8. I have the same birthday as Brian McKnight, Kenny G. and Martha Argerich (maybe I'll be as good as her someday LOL, I hope it comes on my A level prac haha)
9. No I didn't cry on any occasion, unlike chua yu ru.

Haha I still have 1 more present to collect! -AHEM-

I suddenly remembered what Mrs rosy tan said to me once. She said that she felt I was a very sensitive person, which can be good and bad. Maybe I'm feeling the bad side of it now. Sometimes I feel I can be totally independent and as confident as people think I am, but somehow deep down I feel like year after year I'm still trying to fight what happened to me year after year. It gets worse every time I face it. In the past, it was a fear of not making it enough, but this time, it's become 'what if I can't do it?'. I really don't know what I should do anymore; am I right to be less ambitious so much so that people are starting to question my abilities? The difference this time is that I know Jesus is with me, when I prayed and prayed that night.

All I need on the 5th of June is genuine confidence in myself, direction in life and people not treating me like I'm some oddball ghost.

Someone told me that if you're meant to have it, God will give it to you somehow. How do you know if you're meant to have it in the first place? I know what I want, but does it have a divine seal of approval? Maybe I need to jump off the starting point and fall first, before I know if I can fly.

Someday I'll learn that I can't be my daddy's little girl for much longer anymore.

Jolene, originally by Dolly Parton, done by SEB!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOpNfOjfh5o

Release is Friday 3 am
Reward is a trip to San Francisco (I want it bad)

Sweet release is end of A levels
Best Reward is getting into --- fac.

Super super happy tq is over. Now for many other things to come ):

1. annon comments
2. bombastic writings. honestly, long words doesn't equate powerful linguistic skills.

Imagine: to say ' I dived into the sea'
Allow me to use my expansion poweress at like 11pm to briefly illustrate this example.

The azure waters off the coast of the shimmering golden sand on a hot summer's day beckoned to me like an old friend. The heat was so punishing that the waves of water and from the heat were indistinguishible at a glance. My pespiration rolled down my back like marbles down a slope and inside, deep inside, I was burning with indignance at the weather. I could stand it no longer. I dashed off, like a predator to the hunted, zoomed past the multitudes of people and crashed head first into the wide, welcoming, open waters of the Great Pacific. At last, sweet release!

Imagine reading crap like this for a thousand words. Sorry, it's just not my cup of tea I guess.

3. Braggats. They deserve to have their mouths torn out and their tongues cut and their eyes boiled in soup and their nose used for experiments.

4. ENEMIES THAT ACT CHUMMY WITH YOU IN SEMI-PUBLIC. OMG I WANT TO PUKE.

Put your MP3 player/music library on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-first is the title. (okay this is a problem when you tell someone who listens to so much electronic/techno to do this)

I See The King of Glory
I love you, and I need you
At 2 am she jumped on me, said for 5 months she has loved
I could sleep in your arms, we could ride in the dark
It's crowded in worship today as she slipped in

Bones are sinking like stones, all that we fall for
Dig bury me underneath
I can see you're somewhere far away, cold, in another place where nothing's going right
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee;

How do I get through one night without you
The tide is high but I'm holding on
Come with me!
Wind me up put me down start me off and watch me go

Streets like a jungle so call the police
I've been running, trying to be one who sees
Muack
I only see myself reflected in your eyes

This is really so annoying that I can't bring myself to repeat it. Only weiliang and I know the pain. It's so annoying annoying annoying and irresponsible. We don't live in India. We don't get holidays for birthdays. Neither do we grant them for your relatives. So I'm very free huh? I have an infected finger that hurts like shit that I can't play the piano (I blog carefully) and I've had to turn down lunches and reschedule lessons and what have you. Seriously, PRIORITISE. WHERE IS YOUR CONSCIENCE? Maybe you had it for breakfast today.

I would really like to use some colourful vocabulary now. God please take away all the anger and please let tmr go okay.

All I can say is: those who are coming, don't pon, stay for the event whole day, get replacements if necessary, drag along more friends, do your best, work efficiently and

May God's hand be on it all. Make it go smooooothly and that we'll make a difference in the lives of the elderly.

1. dyb bbq, which clashes with my math tuition. should I cancel math?
2. mfa tea session on 7/2. anyone wants to go with me?
3. homecoming. I'm not all that patriotic. I just want to know how much time it takes me to get to school at that time.
4. which session of chem tuition should I change to for next week? I don't really want to go for sunday cos it's soooo packed, but I have no idea where the bishan one is.

My mum just moved her drum set into my room and we had to get a new rug for my room to protect the floor or I'd be having like 4 different types of rugs in my room. yucks. Got this handsome brown one that's super big and now almost my whole room is carpeted -.- Although last night I kept tripping over it cos I kept forgetting about it's existence. LOL I also have a tv in my room now, which my dad won in a lucky draw from his insurance company haha. it's small, nothing fab, a couple days old but I haven't used it at all lol. I'm more of a cable person :x except on friday nights at 10 and for the news. though I'd rather listen to bbc.

Smb in my church just got back from the land of the rising sun and got me a cute handphone strap. It has a trebble clef and a grand piano attached. My christmas was pretty average, going to church, sitting out the games and fussing over the buffet food and how the idiot caterers heat up the food WITH THE PLASTIC WRAP ON. My dear chemist-to-be friend and I were super pissed.

Sidenote: my room is so windy now that my planner flew off the table -.- and strangely enough, there are 2 pairs of girls each in matching swimsuits chasing each other by the pool -.- and 2 workers are watching them. wow.

My mum just complained that my cupboard is getting full and that I should go pack it yucks. rarrr. I should do sth about my holiday hw too. yikes. does h3 and compo sound familiar? :D

The rules:Bold the statements that are true to you Italicize the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy
I curse sometimes
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before. (no, but my cousin called them on me once-.-)
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I'm a good girl!
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo
I can't stand at least one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

5 People:
1.Eme
2.Sam
3.Irene
4. Yuan Lin
5. Jiahui

 "Use the first letter of your first name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things - nothing made up. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial - which by the way is hard if you already have read their answers!"

1. What is your first name? Geneve
2. A 4-letter word: gist
3. A vehicle: G-Klasse military vehicle
4. A city: Geneva
5. A boy's name: Gerald
6. A girl's name: Gwen
7. Beverage: Giant milkshake 0.o
8. An occupation: grocer
9. Something you wear: grass skirt -.-
10. A celebrity: Gabriella Cilmi
11. A food: guacamole
12. Something found in a bathroom: gel
13. Reason for being late: grated my legs
14. Something You Shout: GAHHHHH!
15. An animal: giraffe! <3
16. A body part: groin (sorry I didn't mean it)
17. A word to describe yourself: Great!
18. A colour: Green
19. Something in the Living Room: 

So, prayers DO WORK THANK GOD. Although next time I will have to pray more specifically. Guess what happened this time? No, no need to guess, I'll tell you. First I'll give a brief backstory of what happened to weiliang and I when we went for reccee at Chen Su Lan orphanage... enjoy.

Backstory:

One fine day after school, LEE WEILIANG and I had to go to csl to talk to our contact there called Nancy. We were going to check out the place, facilities and how many children we were going to work with etc. In other words, the plans were more or less finalised.

Being the direction idiot, I decided to leave the getting there part to LEE WEILIANG, who went to streetdirectory.com to get directions. Okay, fair enough. The add for csl was no (dunno what) Serangoon Road.

We happily walked to buona vista mrt and took a train to amk (I think) before transfering to a bus (not before getting a bit lost here and there), which we took for dunno how many stops till we ended up around this industrial area. According to LEE WEILIANG, csl was within walking distance.

LEE WEILIANG: Okay, csl is within 100 metres of the bus stop cos streetdirectory.com said so
me: HUH REALLY this is an omg industrial estate. You expect me to believe that? -looks around- and I don't see ANY sign that points out to csl. ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE CORRECT PLACE? -looks around- and the road name is like (can't rmb but it's quite off, like not even serangoon rd)!!!
LEE WEILIANG: Yeah lah, must trust me and streetdirectory.com!
me: well, I certainly don't. (but we don't really have a choice right?)

(a long while later after walking around and seeing nothing except bloody construction workers)

me: can we go ask directions!?!?!!
LEE WEILIANG: NO SO MALU. I CAN FIND THE PLACE!
me: wth go ask! There, go to that shop

(after a long while of pushing here pushing there, we finally got to a shop)

Uncle: uhh wo bu zhi dao csl zai na li.

(so we decided to follow the road and walk)
(we walked and walked and walked)
(got lost around, walked into this private estate with a playground that made us hopeful, walked around a canal etc etc etc)
(till we reached the French school...then near Hougang, where there was a bus stop)

me: I don't care. We're late and I'm going to ask for directions!
random woman: hmm I'm not sure but maybe you should go across the road and take a bus to serangoon

(okay so we took a bus to serangoon, near irene's old house)

I even smsed irene to ask her if she knew where it was but NO. In fact, csl is her gran's name T_T_T_T_T

upon reaching there, we were still extremely hopelessly lost after walking like SHIT. So, we went asking shopholders and even the post office, thinking they'd confirm know. BUT NO! WTH. We even asked a random car driver for a street directory and he said he didn't have one -.- We later met this taxi driver who didn't know where csl was either, but he was very kind and he called people to ask, even used that screen thingy taxi drivers have to help us. After a super long time, we finally found out that csl was like behind chomp chomp, but super super super far in. The taxi driver was very very nice and he drove us there for free. Our only regret was we didn't copy the number plate to thank him. I really still regret it cos I think it's important to have people like this around. Thank you uncle (:

Upon reaching the place, the security guard decided to bs us and when we went to the general office, some random guy there also bs-ed us about reaching so late etc etc etc (we were 2 hrs late) Horrible stuff happened to LEE WEILIANG in the meantime, but it's something I can't talk about cos it's very mean.

After we met Nancy, we talked about stuff we could have discussed over the phone for like half an hour T_T Waste of time.

So we walked to chomp chomp to take bus to Serangoon int, but guess what, IT ISN'T OVER.

The bloody bus... was a 2-way service... and we ended up at... at... at... PUNGGOL. abcdefg.

Whatever. I finally got home and my parents were like, you're mad -.-

The next day, I didn't go to school cos I got sick.

Oh my, I just realised the backstory is even longer than the actual story 0o

Anyway, we were supposed to meet a Mr Tay at Whompoa CC at 3.30. LEE WEILIANG and I met at boon keng mrt at like 2.30, but both of us were late-.- So we went to the bus stop and while I wanted to follow my dear lihui's bus directions, LEE WEILIANG was very smart and said,

'Let's walk! I know the way!'
'OMFG NO PLEASE LEE WEILIANG NO PLEASEEEEEEEEE CAN WE JUST FOLLOW LIHUI'S DIRECTIONS!!!! I DON'T TRUST YOU!!!'
'No seriously I know the way!'
'Sigh fine -.-'

So, he led me in a way that was opposite to the road direction. I was like, are you sure?! Of course, LEE WEILIANG was sure. He always is. -grins- Later, he stopped short and realised yes, I was right that he was wrong. I asked a nurse for directions, which pointed us in the correct direction, although she gave us another piece of crap direction which I chose to ignore (thank god). We walked and yes, LEE WEILIANG led the correct way. although he said a funny phrase along the way

'Now, we follow the canal until we reach Something'
'-gets very concerned- WHAT Something?'
'Uhh just something. Actually, I don't know what that Something is.'
'-faints-'
'don't worry, I'll know when I see it! : D'
'you'd better.' (anyway I don't have much choice, do I?)

Eventually, the Something was an overhead bridge that crossed the expressway. Etc etc, we found the place. Nice ending (: NOT.

'Hi, we're here to see Mr Tay, we have an appointment with him'
'Oh, Mr Tay is on MC till Thurs!'
<-faints/abcdefg'>
(blah blah blah, tried to call him, no one picked, left number and left.)

of course, along the way out, LEE WEILIANG was like F*** and we were complaining like shit. I took a bus back to go to harbourfront and LEE WEILIANG had to walk to boon keng cos he had no money in ez link and no coins.

When I was at balestier road, I recieved a call from Whompoa CC.

'Hi! When are you guys coming?'
'Huh we came and left! Mr Tay was on MC right?'
'No, Mr Tay has been waiting for you since 3pm! When did you reach?'
'We reached at  3.30. Oh my, we'll go back now!'

In other words, the reception got the wrong staff. So I panicked, called wl and both of us went back, met the guys, settled stuff and went back.

Imagine if I didn't pray for 2 days for everything to be settled smoothly? wow.

*

If anyone were to ask me if I wanted to be liaison officer for cip again, the answer would be yes, ... unless LEE WEILIANG is the chairperson.

Ahem the people who are back from m'sia, I'm waiting for my stuff? And arrangements to be made to do work and play? huh?

Yes, as my piano teacher said,'Wah your holidays are even worse than your school days'

YEAH you can say that again. I can't even find time to fit group lessons, which I need/have/want to go so I get to perform more and to (hopefully) beat those nervous nerves. Crap, I even started planning mentally what to play for it lah sian. Hmm and now I really feel interested and motivated to play well and nail used-to-be-bleugh stuff like Mozart and Bach. Suddenly fugues don't seem as vomit inducing 0o

Yesterday Grace asked me if I wanted to join her for a Christmas countdown along Orchard rd. Apparently there's some foam party? HMM. Nah anyway, I'm not a crowd person unless there's some big sale or sth (female shopping genes acting up again). She's quite irritated that last year zillions of people asked her out but her parents didn't let her go. Now that she's 18, she can but there's no one HAAHHA. Poor girl. (: Just stay at home for dinner with your family friend!

Tomorrow morning, the misson team's leaving for Indon so yes, I pray that they will make a difference and their lives will be different too (: Meanwhile I can't wait for all the band people to come back and hopefull -ahem- buys stuff for me -AHEM-.

Today's just the start of a jam-packed day and a week. Please please pray hard that the meeting with the Whompoa CC people and the sponsors go a-okay (god's hand please be on it) and let it go smooooothly and omg we can start soon :/